Vang Vieng Vis Vots Vof Vun

Top of the morning,

The sun is shining and Vang Vieng, Laos is a ghost town at 11AM, 11PM? This place is POPPING! So I came here and like ok this place is seedy, party town, boring blah, let’s just get one thing straight… If you hear me hating on something and I mention in the same update that I’m sick, that’s probably why. EVERYTHING SUCKS when you’re sick. I remember having the worst throat infection in Panama. I was in heaven but felt like I was in hell.

I digress.

So this place “Vang Vieng” in the middle of Laos goes off the hook at night, seriously. I went for a leisurely jaunt for some wifi, had to spend 15,000K so I had a few beers, the internet connection sucked. I then thought I heard “free buckets” and went to inquire. It’s a SMALL world. These 2 Spanish ladies I’ve probably mentioned in this blog before, standing in front me. Met them at an internet cafe in Bali at 3am in December, then again in Bangkok and now they are yelling out “ROBERTO” in Vang Vieng, Laos. They are like why are you walking around with a beer and a laptop, I said good question.

Drop off the laptop and I’m sitting there on my bed looking at the fan, looking at my bed, looking at my beer, looking at while clenching my stomach. Repeat x 3.

Finally grab the beer and with a skip in my step charge down a flight of stairs, I’m on the main drag. Run into this couple from the UK I met in Luang Prabang, shoot the sh!t and begin finding out about this place. First there are so many women here it’s nuts.  It’s also not like packaged tourist ladies who carry medical kits in there emasculated man’s murses while chatting about ovaltine and their latest burlap bargain, no sir. The guy with them needs to carry a murse because he has no pockets in his orange fisherman pants, haha.

I digress, once more.

Long story short this place is great for a gregarious yet at times nefarious gent like myself. I was going to go home when this crazy blonde lady I had chatted with earlier told me she was bored, I said I’m going to look for a party, she said where, I said I have an idea where and we can ask directions as we go, she said sure. Ever given someone a “Cheers” while walking with a 40 and the bottom of one of the 40’s drop out? It happened last night, so clean, so weird, so random.

 If you walk down towards the Mekong there are bars that sell whiskey buckets for 5000K that’s less than a dollar people. I was going to “boast” while raising a toast about my score when I told a girl and she said she got hers free, wtf!? Free buckets, wow.  If you hang out at the “Rap City” area long enough they’ll just give you free shots as well. I remember taking a shot and being like “What have I gotten myself into here” as previously it was just a leisurely beer exploring a new town.

Few random keywords to describe the evening, reggae bar, rap city the basement, techno so hard it would give anyone over 47.5 years of age an aneurysm except this one old dude who seemed to love it,  partying with a Lady Gaga and Tiger Wood’s Wife look a likes, limbo with fire, no curfew, random crazy people from aound the world, buckets, free shots, Mekong river, super chill and even cheaper than chill if that’s possible. I spent like hmmm almost nothing last night.

Finally, if you have an ipod touch or iphone, those alarms are great, it woke me up from a deep sleep. In the dream it’s like there was an air raid, if you have one of these things you know how the alarm sounds, yes? After that this guy beneath my window was literally smashing a massive piece of sheet metal with a hammer or massive log at 9am for about 30 minutes.

Now it’s 10:45, I’m going to go find an English breakfast somewhere.  Having to be in Bangkok on the 15th sucks but I’ll just suck it up. I’m mentioning this because I need to GET OUT of this town like tomorrow or the next day latest. What’s good what’s bad? I could see myself getting stuck here, I met some people who work here now and told you yesterday about my friend who worked here.

Ok I’ll fill you in, you get free accomodations, free meals(I think but food is cheap) you basically just live at a bar each night as there are many jobs. IF I did a job like this, I’d be a promoter. I hate “taking care of business” but I love getting business. Either way if you are looking to get lost in the world for a while, one of these jobs could be for you. No degree or previous experience required.

Let’s get one thing straight, I’m going to go tube the sh~7 out of that Mekong today, I think it’s the Mekong, whatever. Zip lines, swing ropes, do it all. Just one word of caution: If you’re going to do these things, do them first then get “going”, don’t be that “end of the day guy” who loses his grip on reality and thinks it’s a good idea. This same guy then simultaneously loses his physical grip and ends up mangled in the thick mud of the mighty Mekong. Don’t be that guy or gal.

Tips hat,

P.S: If you’re ever out alone, in a strange town… When you go into a bar go talk to the people you’d like to spend time with in the bar, what’s the worst that can happen? They give you a “get lost vibe”? If you don’t do that, you’ll end up just hanging out with the “I’ll talk to anyone crew” and they are the ones that talk about nothing as the only thing they, you and the rest of the crew have in common is that you’re all kinda boring. Got it? Good.

Author: iyashinoshigoto

Leave a Reply