Good day,

It’s a holiday weekend, raise a glass or drink from the bottle and kick back. As a result, no one reads the internet, I’m not an idiot, I know you all read it at work. I did some of my best “internet surfing” during those long hours chained to a desk doing sh!te I didn’t care about, indeed I did.

~lights a smoke from a ~$0.25 pack called “Prince”~

Anyways, yesterday I basically was in visa h3ll. Turns out I can’t get a business visa or “other” <needed to rent property> but a tourist visa because I’m not working here. As a result, looks like I’m living in a hotel for a month. At first I was annoyed due to the price discrepancy. That said, $390US a month to live in a hotel with a pool, wifi, satellite TV, free breakfast and maid service is nothing to complain about, no it is not. Just compared to $120, think percentage difference my friend.

After all these visa problems, I went to my fav shoe shop and got the owner to come with me, he’s like 25, a cool guy. He talked to them blah blah and no dice. I could go through a travel agency, many do but then your paperwork won’t be 100%. What I mean is this, if you get pulled over by police on your bike and for whatever reason they check your paper work, they will want to know where you work, not worth the hassle.

~ashes in an old water bottle~

Spent the day with him driving around picking up shoes and suits. It was cool to see where most stuff is made. Most of it is in houses turned into “factories” where like 10 dudes hang out on sewing machines and make stuff. They were quite shocked to see me, I don’t think many people actually get to see the production side. Quite industrious these fellows are.

~mistakenly ashes on bed~

Today, I started part of my new sleep routine. I’m a zombie lately because I stay up late with the market and wake up at 9am, everyday. So now, I wake up at 9, eat, do my thing, then pass out until 2PM, effectively missing the hottest part of the day. I like this routine and get 10 hours sleep as opposed to 5-6, what a difference that makes.

~ashes on the floor~

Got my visa extension at 9am, eat and passed out to 1:50, not a bad start to this new routine. If you don’t work 9-5, why not stay up late and sleep during the hottest part of the day. It has taken a while to “break the mold” of old established tradition of sleep at these hours, work at these hours, screw that.

I rented a bike for $0.50 and drove around looking for a gym I was told about. The guy wanted $1us per shot. I offered him $4us for the month, deal. The gym has everything you need. Basically it’s some jacked dude who turned his whole back yard into a covered gym and lots of local people work out there, in fact I’m the only foreigner I saw. Plan on spending a fair bit of time there.

~accidentally ashes on laptop~

Afterward, drove to the beach, hung out with some friends before coming back and doing some “work” aka mindlessly clicking around in a sea of indecision with a few moments of productivity. Think of a stormy day where the sun peaks through the clouds here and there.

I like driving my bike here, I peddle fast and you can drive anywhere, pull any kinda stunt and even drive on the sidewalk to pass old women, no problems. It’s the way things should be, might I add. When I get back home, I’m going to be even more “friendly” with the horn. I was already a “honk if someone is in your way” type, watch out. This other time a truck was backing up, all these tourists stop and wait, I blew by them on the sidewalk. I might get a mountain bike as doing bunny hops on these old junkers isn’t so fun. Obviously I had another bike issue, the [email protected] chain came off and I was cursing the mechanic who added absurd amounts of motor oil on the chain. Putting a chain on a clunker is way harder than one with gears. You need to put it upside down and feed it in, my question was “how did it fall off in the first place!?!?”

~mistakenly ashes on self~

I’m not uploading photos or going to go into much more detail simply because it’s the long weekend, “Easter Weekend”. Would be nice to teleport home and eat some ham or a turkey dinner or anything for that matter. Also on weekends / holidays people have better things to do then read random blogs and frankly, I have better things to do then write random bloggeries.

On the topic of food, I was eating at a place off the beaten path, down this side alley that sells to me for $0.50 which is less than most others, thought I was getting a deal. This old dude walked by I gave him a smile and a thumbs up like “I like this place” and he looked around to make sure owners were occupied and then flashed 5 fingers as in “don’t pay more than 5,000 dong” or $.25 so yeah, when the lady came I gave her 5,000, she was mortified and said 6. Now I get my meal even closer to local pries, pats self on back.

~puts smoke out in an old banana peel~

Went to the bar tonight with 2 ladies I met on my visa excursion, saw them on the street said “What’s up”. They met me at my hotel at 10:30PM. The bar had potential and for some reason a string of scantily clad women showed up. The women in Hoi An dress better than anywhere in Asia because they all get these dresses made and want to wear them, I’m not complaining. Should be an alright night at the Beach Club but I’m just off that. As a result, I will check it out tomorrow because remember, it’s healthy to go paint the town red on a Saturday night unless you’re boring. Personally, I’ve always found painters a bit fruity, as a result, I prefer to empty buckets of red paint on anything in my path.

The market is closed, I’m tired and as a result I’m going to bed.

Tips hat,

P.S: Writing about this trip is about 1% as amusing as writing an April Fools Joke. Furthermore, writing at 2am before I go to bed is going to stop, easier to do it during the day. When I write these it feels like I’m writing a paper at the last possible minute that is due at 9am the next morning, reminds me of school. ~shivers~

P.P.S: I love having a maid and don’t need a tuxedo or a top hat, it’s too [email protected] hot to wear one anyways. Also it would totally destroy the image of “I’m a rando backpacker” that I like to portray. In my mind, I’m ALWAYS dressed in that attire anyways.

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Going Home Humbled and Broke

Good day, This is the last update of this blog. I have decided to go home and get a "real...

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